Embracing a new bad habit.

by B Thornton- Harwood

I have a newly found bad habit; I think it’s been lingering in the back of my psyche for a long while, there have been indications over the years that I harboured this, perhaps I didn’t want to admit it to myself or the others around for fear of the repercussions. I cannot ignore it anymore and this fine evening I would like to come clean to the Internet.

I have a penchant for bad films. I know a lot of people enjoy the odd shit movie, but recently I just can’t stop. I can’t help myself. I’ve found myself going out of my way to watch movies I know are simply dreadful. So I guess I should start telling you about them.

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A few nights ago I watched Sharknado, and it delivers exactly what it says on the tin. “When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorise the waterlogged populace”

 

From the start this was going to be ridiculous, and it didn’t disappoint. Within minutes someone had been killed by a stray Ferris wheel, a girl had taken her skirt off to use it as a tourniquet, and someone had exclaimed “WHAT THE HELL! THERE’S SHARKS IN THE STREET!”

 

I have an inkling that the producers made this ever so slightly tongue in cheek knowing full well that self harming movie fans and stoners would lap this shit up, and as such you get some cinema that’s so awful it does a Borris Johnson-esque 180 spin to become fantastic.

 

Here are some other highlights:

 

  • The amount of stock footage of the sea/ the streets of LA/ Sharks in the wild;
  • An impressively endowed lady who also happens to be a shark aficionado;
  • A Hummer equipped with NOS;
  • Tara Reid having two children almost the same age as her;
  • Tara Reid’s “acting”;
  • How badly Tara Reid has aged;
  • One of the best on screen deaths since Alan Rickman in Robin Hood Prince of thieves with the accompanying line “Mom always told me Hollywood would kill me.”

 

So with all that said and done, I’m looking forward to broadening my horizons in the shite-movie arena, as such downloaded and ready to be watched and subsequently reviewed are: Batman and Robin, Dinocroc vs Supergator and Battlefield Earth. I CAN’T BLOODY WAIT.

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