Nando’s: An analysis and epiphany.

I find that I use Nando’s as a benchmark quite often when referring to restaurants. To me it defines cheap and cheerful, easy and relatively tasty food. It’s a happy medium between paying £7 for a MacDonalds with all the trimmings,  and going to a proper restaurant where you might have to put on deodorant or phone and book a table beforehand.

That is perhaps why Nando’s can feel so hit and miss, with the promise of a shit load of chicken and bottomless drinks you can kid yourself into thinking that it is the be all and end all of hangover cures, that nothing can compare to the hot sauce drenched poultry found inside, but more often than not I find myself stuffed to the point of pain with a wallet a lot lighter than I’d hope.

Last Tuesday however I had a revelation, after having a top-notch lunch, I was full, happy with my purchase, had a slight sweat on my ‘tache from the correct amount of spice (not something I can say for Coast to Coast) In short I was content and all for £11. So what made this trip so special?

It was on a whim. Out of the blue I said to Laura, “Oi, I haven’t had a Nando’s in a while,” (because romance is still alive and kicking, kids.) There was no after affects of gin to fuck with my taste buds or appetite; there was no big deal made of the fact that I had a whole chicken worth of stamps in my wallet and every last morsel of the cunt was getting eaten; in short there were no expectations.

For that reason I think Nando’s should be treated like a Thursday night at Liquid; if you go all the time or plan a big blow out, the end result is always going to be fairly rubbish, and cost you a lot more than you want. If it’s out of the blue with no preconceived anticipation you’re gonna enjoy it a shite sight more, and spend a shite sight less.

Nothing to boast about from Coast to Coast: A restaurant review

Usually I find restaurant reviews quite difficult to tackle as I find myself coming across as a sycophant, and the piece ends up looking an advertorial or like I’m trying to get myself a free meal. But not after visiting Coast to Coast.

I was super excited to dine at Coast to Coast, the restaurant recently opened where (depending on your year of study) Jongleurs/Highlight/Bar Risa once stood. I love the classic American diner cuisine, and the menu looked decent with a great range of burgers, fajitas and pizzas. The place has a nice air about it, friendly staff, a great looking bar, and little booths to eat in, all in all, it had a great Yankee feel to the place. Then we ordered food.

I opted for “spicy” calamari to start, with Laura going for the whitebait. Calamari wasn’t spicy in the slightest; in fact it had scarcely any taste at all, whilst an accompanying tomato sauce tasted just like bolognaise sauce, and did little to compliment sat next to the frankly greasy calamari. The whitebait came with tartar sauce and was fine, in saying that whitebait is pretty difficult to make a hash of.

For main I went for Louisianna “hot” wings with sweet potato fries. Again the wings weren’t hot by any stretch of the imagination, and completely forgettable, fries were nothing compared to Chiquitos sweet potato fries. Laura’s calzone was definitely a calzone but lacked any of the flavour or size that you’d get from Prezzo or Pizza Express. Also (please tell me if I’m being a snob here) how bloody difficult is it to heat up a plate before putting food on it- surely that’s hospitality and catering 101?

 

All of this plus a beer and a glass of wine came to a grand total of £54, which to be honest is a fucking joke. It’s a good job we had a £10 off voucher as even at £22 a head this was way over priced (especially for a student) for the distinctly average meal we had, considering if you spent £22 at Nandos you’d slip into a food coma so deep that Channel 5 would make a documentary about you, and at least the indicator of spiciness is in tune.

Overall: mediocre, forgettable food with a hefty price tag, I won’t be rushing back.

One positive I would take is the Cream soda. It’s excellent. Whenever I see cream soda (the most criminally under-rated soft drink of all time) on a menu I grab one, and this didn’t disappoint. So if you are tempted to dine here, sack off ordering food and sit at the bar with one of these badboys. 

 

@benjth11

The Belle Isle, Southsea.

The Belle isle.

Students in Portsmouth often seem to be blinkered by Gunwharf Quays when it comes to food offers, sticking to measly 10% discounts in Nandos or taking an Orange Wednesday code to Pizza express for a decidedly mediocre meal when there are far better promotions to be taken advantage of, presenting much tastier food.

One such place will be well-known to many familiar with Southsea; The Belle Isle located on Osbourne Road boasts a stylish interior, a well stocked bar and simple but fantastically prepared food with a modest price tag.

Laura and I visited on a sunny Tuesday afternoon and took seats in the windows which in fine weather are drawn back to let in the breeze. Tuesday’s deal is a beer and nachos for £6- naturally you can have a small glass of wine or soft drink in its place, however they’re surprisingly strict on only serving Coors, which is irritating when Red Stripe is on tap.

Regardless of alcoholic accompaniment the nachos go down a treat. As simple as tortilla chips covered in other Mexican garnishes are, The Belle Isle transforms them from something ordinary to a real delight for the taste buds- with lashings of chilli, cheese, salsa and two whopping great dollops of soured cream and guacamole.

The dish provides enough bite to give you a little kick but not so much that you start sweating or gasping for water, while is large enough to serve you for dinner or tide a pair over if you just wanted a light lunch.

Perhaps try the “Shipwrecked” mussels- if you want to push the boat out (queue laughter), at just under 4 quid for a lunch portion, cooked in chilli and garlic with a white wine sauce, they come with a couple of huge chunks of lime for a citrus bite and some seriously thick crusty bread to mop up what your spoon can’t get to.

These on the right day are out of this world, sadly the last time I had them they tasted a lot like the ocean, which is a shame, but reassuring in as much that at least I know they’re fresh and from the sea, and not pulled out of the Asda freezer.

If you want something lighter then perhaps try the Warm Chorizo, Potato & Halloumi Salad. Now, I’ve never ordered a salad in my life- mainly because I’m male, but also because more than a bowl of foliage is needed to satisfy my ever growing waste line. However simply by adding the fried chorizo and grilled halloumi the dish is transformed into something rather exquisite and unusual, and I would argue that it doesn’t even need to potatoes which do bulk up the plate somewhat but aren’t entirely necessary when the food tastes as good as this. Try adding a big slug of balsamic vinegar to liven up the leaves.

This food combined with friendly staff and a warm atmosphere all add up to a rather enjoyable afternoon out, without having to venture into Gunwharf.

Check out the Belle Isle’s website here or stay up to date by following them on Twitter.

@Benjth11